As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17
Recently, I got lured into a home demonstration for Cutco knives. I agreed partly because I wanted to help a young man I’d known for many years. But mostly, I just wanted my drawer full of Cutco knives sharpened, free of charge.
Their product is stellar, and their standards are strict. Any knife that bears their name — no matter the age or amount of use — must cut cleanly through a thick piece of rope. Any evidence of gnawing or frayed edges sends that knife to the whetstone for sharpening.
At the same time my knives were being tested and honed, my love was undergoing God’s sharpening process. My personal rope test came during Parent’s Weekend at Ole Miss. Our daughter Merrill Lee is a senior, scheduled to graduate in May. We took her out to dinner; and conversation inevitably turned to her plans for next year. On the way back to the hotel, a disagreement arose between my husband and me.
Eager to debrief, I began to rehearse all the options we had discussed. It took me a few minutes to notice that Bob wasn’t participating. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “I felt shut out”, was his reply. I was startled by his comment. “Why do you say that?” I wanted to know. “Every time I expressed my opinion, you just changed the subject back to what you want her to do.” Ouch. I could see why he felt that way. We both held some strong convictions about our child’s future. I was so focused on fulfillment of her dreams and passions that I had dismissed Bob’s concerns about her financial security.
I said I was sorry, but it was obvious that Bob was finished with the conversation for now. As we drove along in silence, I hated the disconnection I had created between us. I began to ask the Lord to search my heart. Without condemnation, He gently revealed that I had judged my view as superior to my husband’s. This prideful attitude had dulled my heart to God’s call to love. Without the love of God as my primary goal, I lost my ability to see Bob’s wisdom and precious father heart. “Oh Jesus, I’ve done it again!” I thought. “I’ve failed to honor You and my husband by my lack of love. Please forgive me and love Bob through me.”
It was tempting to be discouraged about my “love life.” But, instead I chose to take hold of the only solution that could cleanly cut through this relational barrier. As I prayed for God to love my husband, I had Romans 5:5 in mind. It tells me that the Holy Spirit has poured God’s love into my heart. The overwhelming, overcoming, sacrificial love of my Redeemer lives in me!
That perfect love can flow to others when I yield to God’s refining process. Iron sharpening iron involves friction. It isn’t a quick fix. But as I allow Him to remove everything that hinders, I become an instrument in the hand of God wielding the love of God that never fails.
The love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit.
Romans 5:5